The in-between time

I am in a period of waiting these days. Baby is due in a month, and I just spent a month on bed rest. Little one decided she was in a hurry to be earthside and I went into labor at 31 weeks. Strict bedrest has bought me and the pumpkin another 5 weeks. We are both doing well and I am officially off of bedrest now.

Now we wait. Every day I think this could be the day. Every night I go to bed wondering if our children will wake to find a new baby sister cuddled in bed with mama. I hope baby continues to stay put for a while longer. I am also anxious to meet her. I want to snuggle with her, kiss her downy head, and spend hours with her nursing and blissed out.

I am in this weird in-between state. Thoughts of baby and labor and baby stuff are always just simmering below the surface. The bubbles rise and pop and I am suddenly lost in baby land. Life seems a bit surreal at the moment. Life is going along as usual, and in the blink of an eye there will be a new member of our family. A new little one that will be tiny and adorable and monopolizing of my time. I always worry about finding a balance between meeting the needs of my husband and older children while meeting the needs of a nursing newborn. It will all work itself out, but in this time of in-between, the worry consumes me. I have been knitting and writing, all in an effort to remain present.

These are the warm woolens for baby I have knit in the last few weeks:

More is on the needles and I have yarn on the way for an adorable little cardigan for Hannah.